Yes, with the aid of Making Music's Clever Quiz, you can tell how nearly famous you are. If you can say 'I have' to more than a few of the sentences below, you're most definitely about to get a large cheque through the post - isn't that the doorbell now? No? Oh well, accountancy is much better paid...

Been turned down by every major record company, at least once?

Gone on stage irreparably drunk?

Fallen off stage?

Had a fan letter?

Played benefit gigs that have lost money?

Been turned down for a sponsorship deal by a drum company?

Met a pop star?

Given up in disgust?

Got back together again with new-found passion?

Given up Melody Maker and started reading music papers instead (usually just looking for your name)?

Been able to recite 50% of the Troggs' tape, or three scenes from either Spinal Tap or Bad News?

Lied to the Vicar about playing heavy metal in his church hall? (and not felt guilty)

Chatted with your local music shop manager on first name terms?

Damaged some part of a hired PA, and not owned up about it?

Been banned from your local shop by self same manager?

Stopped ripping off Genesis/Whitesnake/Depeche Mode/Velvet Underground/Bananarama/Dire Straits/Bob Marley etc?

Written some ber-illiant songs?