THE TRITON

(or, same shape, anywhere you like)

Once again the office sauna, gym and poolside cocktail bar rang to the sound of voices raised in musical conflict. Is this a real chord or just an upstart interval (root and augmented fourth, then same again an octave up)? The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Music says it's a Tritone, and is a difficult interval to sing: "hence usually avoided in composing vocal music". Jon 'Prince Of Darkness' Lewin had a different story. "Ah, 'tis the Devil's Chord, shunned by Godfearing composers and likely to invoke the Satanic one on the merest strum."

More down to earth sources will tell you that if you thump the E and A strings, then the D and G strings in a sort of OOmm-Pah, OOmm-Pah rhythm, you get remarkably close to the opening stomp employed by Mr J. Hendrix on Purple Haze. The magazine will then disappear in a blinding flash and your trousers will look very silly, because they will have a goat in them.