Just pity that poor bloke who has to stand in front of a mike and go "phut, cracklecracklecrackle..." so that they can put that noise on the front of each and every record that goes into the shops. You don't believe us? Put a record on and listen carefully. See? "Phut, cracklecracklecrackle...". But what comes next! The first line of the song! Which brings us to a brilliant little competition. Which six good songs have these first lines, eh?

1. "Sitting in the morning sun I'll be sitting when the evening comes..."

2. "I get up in the evening and I ain't got nothing to say..."

3. "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you..."

4. "We walked in the cold air..."

5. "You must understand though the touch of your hand makes my pulse react..."

6. "Finished with my woman cos she couldn't help me with my mind..."

Answers are sideways over on the right.

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1. The Dock Of The Bay (Otis Redding)
2. Dancing In The Dark (Bruce Springsteen)
3. Don't You Want Me (Human League)
4. Vienna (Ultravox)
5. What's Love Got To Do With It (Tina Turner)
6. Paranoid (Black Sabbath)

None right: you are a cupboard.
Up to four right: You are something that goes in a cupboard.
More than four right: You are a cupboard builder.