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Article from Making Music, December 1987 | |
They are the first people ever to comment on your burgeoning musical talent. And of course it's always encouragement...
| It is a little loud dear | granny's hearing aid has just set light to her frock |
| In my day | before men could walk |
| It's got a good beat | I can hear something |
| It's got nice words | I can't hear anything |
| That's nice dear | I'm not listening |
| Oh yes | oh no |
| Could you use the headphones? | would you like your speakers locked in the garage? |
| Remember your cousin Gary? | the one from Rhyl who became a dancer |
| Are you sure you'll be warm enough, dear? | aren't those all your friends just within earshot? |
| You came home late last night | I didn't bonk at 16, so neither can you |
| Yes I used to play the guitar a bit | where do you blow? |
| And your friend is the drummer is he? | who let this caveman crap on my settee? |
| There's something on your nose, dear | You nose is entirely gilbert free, but I like embarrassing you |
| Where do you rehearse? | because I thought this was a ****ing accident |
| Quiet everyone, Richard's going to sing a song | quiet everyone, I found a way of shutting the little sod up for the rest of the evening |
| You must practise very hard | you must sleep a lot |
| My Kevin is in a little group, now | I have no son |
| But it's not real music, is it? | because I say so, and I've got a James Galway record |
| Your father has a headache this morning | all naked flames must be kept away from the bedroom area |
| Oo-er | you're ****ing joking, aren't you? |
| Is that a man? | I know perfectly well it's a bloke wearing make-up for a video, but this is the way old people have their fun |
| Do you think it's really the right instrument for you? | give it up ****brain, the family illness is showing |
| Why do they call it Heavy Metal? | why do they call it anything? |
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Publisher: Making Music - Track Record Publishing Ltd, Nexus Media Ltd.
The current copyright owner/s of this content may differ from the originally published copyright notice.
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Making Music - Dec 1987
The Front End
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