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Parent Speak

Article from Making Music, December 1987


They are the first people ever to comment on your burgeoning musical talent. And of course it's always encouragement...

It is a little loud dear granny's hearing aid has just set light to her frock
In my day before men could walk
It's got a good beat I can hear something
It's got nice words I can't hear anything
That's nice dear I'm not listening
Oh yes oh no
Could you use the headphones? would you like your speakers locked in the garage?
Remember your cousin Gary? the one from Rhyl who became a dancer
Are you sure you'll be warm enough, dear? aren't those all your friends just within earshot?
You came home late last night I didn't bonk at 16, so neither can you
Yes I used to play the guitar a bit where do you blow?
And your friend is the drummer is he? who let this caveman crap on my settee?
There's something on your nose, dear You nose is entirely gilbert free, but I like embarrassing you
Where do you rehearse? because I thought this was a ****ing accident
Quiet everyone, Richard's going to sing a song quiet everyone, I found a way of shutting the little sod up for the rest of the evening
You must practise very hard you must sleep a lot
My Kevin is in a little group, now I have no son
But it's not real music, is it? because I say so, and I've got a James Galway record
Your father has a headache this morning all naked flames must be kept away from the bedroom area
Oo-er you're ****ing joking, aren't you?
Is that a man? I know perfectly well it's a bloke wearing make-up for a video, but this is the way old people have their fun
Do you think it's really the right instrument for you? give it up ****brain, the family illness is showing
Why do they call it Heavy Metal? why do they call it anything?


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Smoke

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The A&R Men


Publisher: Making Music - Track Record Publishing Ltd, Nexus Media Ltd.

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Making Music - Dec 1987

The Front End

Topic:

Humour


Feature

Previous article in this issue:

> Smoke

Next article in this issue:

> The A&R Men


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