Q: What's slightly flushed and goes from Marcus to Genetic to Ridge Farm to Wessex to Air to the Townhouse at considerable velocity?

A: Kevin Rowland

Yea verily, the ongoing saga of Pop's tyrannical howler may well have ended happily at the Townhouse studios in uptown, downmarket Shepherds Bush. The land's most patient and best travelled producer is still Alan Winstanley...

Park Gates' consciousness was raised several feet with the arrival of one time Steely van guitarist Walter Becker. Wild Wally, who falls equidistant between Allen Ginsberg and Jim Betteridge, surprised himself by professing an interest in producing China Crisis who returned the surprise when they accepted. The fruits of this meeting of warped minds will materialise in all aware record shops real soon...

Sylvester, the androgynous swinger who was bending his gender way back when Uri Geller was doing something not entirely dissimilar with cutlery, has teamed up with the Tzar of the boystown beat, one Ian Levine, to impress his dulcets onto the mighty reels. The (hi) energetic Levine has also spun the spools for Evelyn Thomas and Miquel Brown hindered competently by Britain's answer to Frank Worthington, Flood (whom you may have noticed now gets his name italicised). A mere corridor away, Steven Stuart-Short desked it for B Movie ably assisted by Clive Martin...

Joan Armatrading (who sounds uncannily like Billy Ocean) appeared at Battery for a swift bit of multi tracking with Mike 'Gong with the wind' Howlett and hot from the Superbowl, the Willesden Dodgers scored good points for Jive records. This bodes well for The Willesden Fingerbowl Final when the Dodgers take on the Redskins...

A healthy selection of scousers have shown up on the doorstep of Amazon. Amongst this assemblage of licentious Liverpudlians were the Kop's own mop-tops Echo and the Bunnymen who are meant to be having a year's sabbatical. "Well, botties to that one boys," says the Diary. New EMI signings Scary Thieves put a few ideas down with Hugh Stanley Clarke, The Lotus Eaters continued their campaign to keep popular music devoid of manliness with the help of Dave Hughes... Good to see that ABC are back recording. We here this side of the fashionable waters of London Town rather liked that last single. They're producing themselves at Jacobs. Steel Pulse are there as well which, it should be agreed, is a good thing too...

Livingstone Studios have been playing host to born again men of metal Terraplane. The Terras, who were at one time a more permanent fixture in the Marquee than the stains on the walls, have taken something of a U-turn and are now careering gaily along the sunny side of the Pop avenue. Producer-in-chief is Liam Henshall. Leeds Goths Sisters of Mercy have cast a dark and mysterious shadow over the Livingstone control room for some weeks now whilst at the other end of the doom and eternal misery scale, Modern Romance continue to make music for people in paper hats...

Last month's cover pet, Phil Collins, went back to Air with Turkish delight Arif Mardin. Does this mean we can get the Coming In The Air Tonight gag in? (How does 'no' grab you? —Ed).

Subsonic bassie, Jah Wobble has returned to Recording World with a bang and a throb at Guerilla studios. The good Wobble should be putting out product through Island as soon as he reckons it's finished...

After America and Asia come the scale model Alaska fronted by elderly geetar hero Bernie Marsden. Could there be a future in this incontinent Rock lark? Clock studios are currently giving Bernie the time of day... Swain and Jolley have taken a new potential international star under their well padded wing. Catch Kevin Kitchen while you can still afford the ticket...

The Damned swooped into Odyssey with Bob Sargeant for a session of impromtu music making while French 'ard Rock outfit Telephone engaged themselves in the self-same activity at Mayfair humbly supported by Steve Brown behind the desk...

Ex-members of Squeeze never die they just go onto present the Tube, become dubious session players and make musicals in Deptford. Glenn Tilbrook's latest project has taken him to Workhouse studios where he has blessed Going Gha Gha with his production talents.

Fascinating marriage of the month is between the Beach Boys and Steve Levine. The communion was consummated by the recording of several tracks at Red Bus...

Would you cock an eyebrow if you heard that a band called the Face Brothers were recording at Townhouse Three? Would you cock the other if you knew that Steve Lovell was involved in the production? Would your shades slip off your nose if someone told you that Manfred Mann were in the same building?

Marquee studios took full advantage of Dead Or Alive's visit to their studio and promptly used Peter Burns' mouth for a good live drum sound. Burns has since consented to let his mouth out on a daily basis and bands that have benefited thus far from this extraordinary bout of benevolence include John Sloman, new EMI children Spelt Like This and Matt Bianco, the latter of whom have sued for the loss of a Roland Bassline and a backing vocalist down the camp one's gullet...

Stevie Wonder showed at Roundhouse and insisted on producing himself. In another room, Thomas Dolby and David Kemp set to on their latest project while The Playn Jayn handed over their psychedelic R&B to Hein Hoven who mixed it without further ado...

The goodly Stranglers settled in Spaceward for a spate of songwriting with J J Burnel doing his utmost to get it all down on two inch.

While Roger Daltrey flashes his Gold American Express to his very wealthy trout, Pete Townshend hasn't forgotten his working class roots. No siree. He's upped axe and got stuck into some very serious recording at his very own Eel Pie Studio. Ain't that just what Rock 'n' Roll is all about. Eat the rich!