Well strike a light and splice me tortoise — what some people will do to get their name in print. After finding out the hard way that doing very, very little wasn't the thing for the ageing revolutionary in 85, Alarm copyists, The Clash, have returned to the studio for another bash at setting the youth on fire. The wealthiest men in Notting Hill have been spotted at Maison Rouge and Konk and are reportedly producing themselves.

Simultaneously and pretty well as the same time, a scaly hack reaches the Diary desk salivating copiously and gibbering about Los Clash losing a recent football match to a bunch of girlies! Over 21 wizard, Joe Striker, restricted his considerable ball skills to the dug-out...

Those committed to the quest for eternal hipness will be more than aware of the imminent Pub-Rock revival and enormously excited by the fact that one G Parker is back working in Trilion. True Pub-Rockers will not care that this is actually Greg not Graham Parker because PRs (as they're bound to be called) are normally pabbed...

Proud owners of the finest moniker since the Fur Coughs, Chewy Raccoon have had production duties taken over by one Bobby Henry at highland house of recording, Palladium.

The seminal XTC have been taken to task and to Chapel Lane by John Leckie, who recently made honest men and women of The Fall...

Back at the ZTT ranch a new prodigy has been launched. Heralded as an unpleasant Mike Oldfield for the eighties, Andrew Poppy has taken his keyboard oriented tapestries to Konk where he produced himself and was engineered by both Dave Powell and Stuart Bruce...

Following the monumental flop of his last solo single, Ian MacCulloch has returned to Amazon studios this time with producer Ian Brodie to have another crack at Bunnymenless stardom. And one can only assume that China Crisis' relationship with Walter Becker didn't work out as they're back at Amazon keeping the studio warm when Mr MacMouth isn't using it...

The vile heap of sentimental slop that masqueraded as David Cassidy's last (we live in hope) 45 reflected not upon the excellent Mayfair studios nor upon the perfectly formed Alan Tarney who consoled the whole affair.

And just when you'd stuffed your acoustic guitar into your dungarees pocket and headed out to buy the latest Dexy's album, the tale takes yet another twist as Kev and His Miserable Men arrived at another London studio to run through some 600 yards of master tape and try Alan Winstanley's patience that little bit further. And you thought the Human League took a long time to make records...

Springsteenesque Scots mumbler Mike Scott and his Waterboys showed up at Music Works studios pleading for a liddle bit of their time. John Brand obliged and produced...

Cover-starlets The Art of Noise have recently completed their Moments In Love single at Maison Rouge. Production was overseen by the goodly Mr Horn...

Vince Clarke has eschewed the womb-like security of his own Splendid Studio and braved the saucy surrounds of Soho just to work with Trident's answer to Jimmy Greaves, Flood. Both young bucks are taking full advantage of the new Trident desk and Flood's producer-like disposition. King have been at it with Richard Burgess who, in turn, has been at it with New Edition. Record Shack have taken something of a sabbatical from their Hi-NRG endeavours to focus their attention upon Plaza who again are being produced by the man us journalists call Flood. The new Spear of Des Tiny album is underway only with Rusty Egan at the controls, that's all. Engineer for the occasion will be sprightly boy-child Adam Mosely. Des Tiny is 27...

Doors were bolted and high security guards drafted in as the Bay City Rollers were smuggled into Palladium studios. A security chief said of the baying teenybopping fans, "It's the only way we can keep them in."

UK Electrochap Mark Shreeve has taken himself and his many banks of MIDI keyboards to Battery Studios where he has thrown it all at the mercy of ruthless producer man Peter Harris. The fruits of this session will soon be released on Jive Electro and doubtlessly reviewed in Electronic Soundmaker — the electronic music magazine that transcends thought...

The Special AKA and various members of Madness and UB40 plus many others recently recorded a single to further help the death prevention campaign in Ethiopia. Pete Townshend donated his Eel Pie studio for the event and Jerry Dammers and Clive Langer produced and Jeremy Green engineered. If you've not yet bought the single...

The work on Paul Young's second LP is now well underway and rumour has it that a peculiar selection of cover versions have been considered to compliment the handsome one's own compositions. Producer in chief is Laurie Latham, who is also engineering, studio at present is Park Gates...

Raise a spindly pallid arm if you remember Skeletal Family. No? Don't recall Playing Golf With My Flesh Crawling? Pleb. Anyway they're back in the recording game, creative juices flowing everywhere. West 3 are the hosts, John Brand is at the desk...

The Clash back recording? Flood working with Vince Clarke? Let the good times roll...