And on the fourth day The Lord decreed that Ridge Farm be refurbished and lo it was refurbished. "Install a very fashionable 48 frame SSL desk and some of those trendy Roger Quested monitors," he said. And from that day forth they were installed The Lord saw that they were good. The first son to enjoy the Lord's gift unto Ridge Farm was Any Hill. For it was he who was producing Buck's Fizz and Owen Paul within the walls of the studio... The Lord smiled upon The Danse Society as they appeared at the threshold of Ridge Farm. But, lo, he saw that they smileth not and issued a new decree that they should remix their LP so that the smiles may return to their faces and the faces of their faithful...

And, yea, a collective from Nashville emerged from the land known as America and played not the joyous music that the Lord favoured known as Country & Western but Pop Music. This displeased the Lord greatly and he sent upon Ridge Farm and the surrounding Dorking area a plague that was to be known as A Box Of Frogs and a guitarist called Rory from the family of Gallagher. The plague devoured all the one inch master tape within the Gommarah of Surrey leaving Clannad to record an LP on their own sandal straps with Steve Nye the producer who had begat an album by David Sylvian when the earth was but a twinkle in The Lord's eye.

And so it did happen that a Swedish guitarist did ascend upon Townhouse Three and his name was Nils Landeran. After making the understandable mistake that he was guitarist unto The Boss (whom the Lord despised for muscling in on his job). He allowed the session to commence under the watchful vigilance of John Porter.

Then it came to pass that Steve Hillage, having returned from the Nth dimension, produced Yes Let's and that the Screaming Blue Messiah's album came to an unholy end in the hands of Bob Andrews and Colin Fairley in the blessed environment of Townhouse Three...

On the fifth day The Lord made Trident Studios and placed within it Sting and an engineer to record a live song or possibly two. The Lord heard the recording and they were good recordings. Lemme hear y'all say, "Good recordings!" And in that very same building that the good master had provided for his beloved he put The Faith Brothers and he put The Cure and he put the little girl from Bow Wow Wow, Annabella Lwin. They sang their songs and overdubbed their overdubs and praised The Lord for putting them in such a fine studio with fine producers like Martin Howell, Dave Allen and Zeus B. Held. Modern English, a group of wholesome youngsters as talented as a bag full of really talented monkeys did begin work on a new and forthcoming album guided by the goodly Steven Stuart-Short. Then it did occur that Paul Hardcastle took the dusty road to Trident and with five AMSs and a Quantec House simulator made a follow up to 19 as the heavenly choirs sang psalms and the angels did breakdance on their clouds...

Yea, verily lo and behold, Robin Millar did continue work on the second Sade LP at The Power Plant. Marc Almond, who was warbling worthily mere corridors away with Mike Hedges did not perform a duet with either Sade, The Lord or Robin Millar... Jerry Dammers made a more Godly sound for Absolute Beginners and there was a fanfare of pre-set trumpet sounds in the foyer as German Heavy Metal outfit, Howard Jones did materialise to lay hands on his many synthesizers...

Unemployed arch-angel Vince Clarke pursued his solo activities even further and rolled back the stone at the doors of both Livingstone and Power Plant studios. Flood, the engineer who has been known to turn wine into wee wee, has yet to deny Clarke thrice and is still in his employ... As the sixth day neared, Peter Shelley did taketh his songs unto Soho Studios where upon he duly recorded some of them unto multitrack...

Then there was a mighty rumbling and the clouds parted to give the Lord a better view of his most smiled upon combo, the Boothill Foottappers, as they finished their album at The Power Plant. As the final banjo overdub was recorded the Lord turned unto St Peter (Collins) and exclaimed, "Yeehaw!"...

A woman of ill-repute was cast unto Maison Rouge where she faced the ultimate punishment the Lord could bestow upon a mortal — to work with Trevor Horn. The women, known amongst phillistines as Grace Jones pleaded with the Lord but He was just and right in his judgement and recording of the woman began. But to show that He was a fair God, He did subject every soul at Maison Rouge to his most fearful and horrific plague. Yea, Saxon were made flesh in Fulham and recorded an LP with Simeon Hanheart. The sinners within were soon truly repentant and did beg The Lord for pieces of cotton wool to stuff unto their cochlea...

A grinding of teeth and a crushing of bones and a banging of little metal thingies did emanate from Soho Studios as Test Department mixed tracks for imminent release...

The Seventh day was the day that The Lord had saveth as His biggest surprise for his people. Firstly He did tell unto his flock that Shaky had entered the studio fold once more, only this time with the Reverend Rocker who had raised many a fader (sometimes from the dead) who was called Dave Edmunds. And lo, la, yea da do wop be do be do He took unto His hands five loaves and two fishes and before many breathren He performed what was to become known as the miracle of the five fish sandwiches. Lemme hear y'all say, "Sandwiches!"