I only heard the news yesterday, and I hardly dare believe it. Many perhaps lamented the demise of Deevoy — his vulgar associates, no doubt, whilst for those who were not acquainted with him the event probably occasioned little more than a raised eyebrow over the breakfast cereals.

However, for me the news of this infamous man's descent into the underworld has signalled a remarkable recovery. My jelly spasms have now subsided into a practically unnoticeable twitch, my hydrophobia is fast disappearing, and for the first time in 10 years I recognised my mother. In the words of one hypochondriac, 'I've been cured!'

As you can imagine, this has been a great boon as far as work goes. Now I can type International Musician instead of Knfksdjgks £30g=1-5, and the typewriter keys have ceased rusting. Recognising my mother was a bit of an embarrassment since she was quick to remind me of the tenner I owe her, but all in all it's been a great tonic.

And my telephone manner has improved drastically. For instance, I called Power Plant Studios in Willesden and instead of the usual "Who the hell is this? Whojjersay? Try the Armenian Embassy, mate". I got, "Yes, this week we've had The Fine Young Cannibals working on their LP which is being produced by Robin Millar..." What a relief. The tale continued even. Total Contrast and producer Nigel Martinez had been in to record a single, as had Miquel Brown with producer Geoff Deane, acts which may come as some surprise to anyone who thinks that Power Plant is exclusively devoted to the Working Weeks and Sade's of this world. Also using Power Plant studios were Erasure, AKA Vince Clark and Andy Bell, recording a single under the guidance of Flood, who seemed overwhelmed at the news of Deevoy's departure. Also in were Marc Almond and his faithful producer Mike Hedges, and a band calling themselves Strangers and Brothers produced by Bob Andrews and Colin Fairley.

At Red Bus Studios in St Johns Wood Imagination put in an appearance working on their new LP with Derek Bramble. From the sublime to the ridiculous, or rather from Imagination to the LSO, a band called Kimera have been recording with none other than that celebrated ensemble under the production of Steve Rowland, whilst Phonogram's new signing Love or Money have been recording an album produced by John Dowd.

Down at Soho Studio backbeat intensive strains have been heard, with Haywoode and Roy Ayers both working on singles and Loose Ends working on material for Mary Martin the well known... er... ahem. They've also been host to Max Headroom (says he changing the subject quickly) who's been using the 'well big' effects rack there. (I do wish they'd stop using these overly technical terms with me.) Everyone knows of course, that Mick Jones is ex-Clash. But it is cool to admit that you didn't know he was recording with his new band Big Audio Dynamite at Redan Recorders in Queensway... until now that is.

Blancmange have also been in with their tupperware and other hi-tech gadgets, touching up their album, believe you me, as have one time Mod-men turned Woolybacks, The Alarm. And of course did I forget to mention Re-Flex spending all their time there? Oh yes, so I did.

Maison Rouge has thronged with the quick, in the form of Shaky, produced by Dave Edmunds, and Queen, and has set the scene for the resurrection of the dead. ELP, the band that disappeared under their own pedestals, have put in an appearance with Tony Taverner producing.

Whistle Test stalwarts Sad Cafe have been in with producers Ian Wilson and Paul Young, and the great, but not late, Everley Brothers have also made a call, drawing on more of Dave Edmunds' production skills.

The only recent customers at Britannia Row have been The Woodentops, owing to the fact that they've been completely re-building the place, and going 48 and 24 track SSL.

The scene's been the same at Eden Studios where they've been upgrading studio 1, and installing Quested Speakers in both studios. However, this hasn't prevented Sade and Robin Millar from showing up to do some mixing on the Promise LP, and one of the singers who really paved the way for so many other chanteuses today, Carmel has been in to record a single with producer David Motion. Also making records at Eden are Making Time, Stiff's Pop mod combo, produced by Rod Thompson.

Meanwhile, back at Abbey Road, CBS signings Picnic at The Whitehouse, Roger Whittaker and Hazel Dean have all managed to fight their way through the hordes of Japanese tourists queueing up to get their photos taken on the zebra crossing. And the legends continue to roll in; Paul Simon has been recording, and Macca has been filming a video for a new single there.

So you see. It's all go, and I'm here to tell you about it, once again my old self. What's that? Deevoy's not dead? No, please I won't believe it, say it's not true — at least until I've finished this art? ★thgiy):0e£.;1/33/4"...