TO BE perfectly honest, I feel a bit of a berk reviewing this amplifier. After all, hundreds of white-coated Deutsche boffins have probably spent their entire lives perfecting the finest details of the circuitry and honing its technical specifications to within a millionth of the optimum.

And then along comes some sweaty great English oaf who plugs in a lead that crackles if you stand on one end and plays nasty loud basslines through it.

No justice, really, is there? But there so rarely is, of course, in the world of nasty smelly leathery yobs that you and me inhabit. Amps are asked to put out their best performance night after night, only to be bounced off the top of the cabinet one-handed by a hairy drunkard and slung unceremoniously into the back of an ex-Ambulance service Commer of dubious vintage. Then when they arrive at the next gig after nights of freezing damp and days of bouncing up and down on the dodgy suspension they're expected to put out umpteen watts of crystal-clear and reliable oomph again.

All of which means that life's a bastard for amps and the people who build them. Except in a very few instances.

These exceptions invariably arrive at the very top of the market and they are only affordable by people who can afford a team of roadies and a lot of flightcases. After every gig (that's about once in every three-and-a-half years) the amps are placed in their plush-lined cases. They are carried very carefully to a huge truck and placed in a safe spot, somewhere dry and warm, until they're next needed.

This Dynacord is definitely one of the latter breed. Which means that most normal considerations are irrelevant. Because it's so bleeding pricey that if you can afford it, you can definitely afford to keep it in the luxury to which it is accustomed. Sure, it's solid enough, with its smart red and white fascia looking like it would stand any reasonable knocks, and its side flanges just begging to be built into a flightcase or one of the very dinky red and white wooden covers Dynacord have knocked up for the purpose, but that's not really the point.

The point is this. Firstly, it sounds brilliant. When no compromise is the order of the day and you absolutely must sound as good as John Taylor, Larry Graham, Lemmy or whoever, this will do it.

Second, and more interesting if you can't afford one yet but would love it's little, cheap relative when it finally comes out, is the fact that this amp's got MIDI. This, for bass players who've avoided the term as though it stood for Musicians Instantly Dissolve Internally, is the system all those smart-arse keyboard players use to connect their MZ169 to their FZ72, leaving them a hand free to practice their Nick Rhodes preen. In the case of this amp it means two things particularly: It can store control settings, sixteen of them in fact, so when you get your ideal sounds for that 1977 punk medley, for instance, you dial that up and punch it in using the appropriate footswitch at the relevant moment. Sixteen of your favourite or most-used sounds instantly on tap, no hassle at all.

And MIDI also means that it will change settings along with any other MIDI gadget that it's plugged into — a delay unit, a reverb, or any other MIDI-equipped thing. Not only do your sixteen programmes magically arrive as soon as you press the switch, but also (providing you've programmed it right) the correct amounts of effect. Clever.

All of this is of course, hugely irrelevant to the mass of unrich, unfamous types who can't afford one and are never likely to be able to. However, look at this amp as a signpost.

Seriously, folks, this is the way the future will look — no longer can anyone avoid the curse of MIDI. There's even a guitar combo with the same facilities. And when the price of it comes down it'll be the best thing since sliced active circuitry. And you'll buy the latest Japanese superMIDI wondercombo and all will be wonderful.

Meanwhile, Dynacord are working on a bass amp the size of a gnat's knee that can not only reproduce your basslines simultaneously whisper to you how you ought to be playing it get a round in, and comb your hair. The only snag is that it costs fourteen million pounds.

DYNACORD Reference 4000: £900