PEPSI-COLA has, as mentioned in last month's issue, just relaunched the career of an obscure New York-Italian doughnut seller. The young (ish) lady in question goes by the name of Madonna, and after making a truly magnificent TV commercial for the above-mentioned beverage, she now finds herself back where she belongs - at the top of the charts all over the world. This is a lesson to budding megastars everywhere: it's not what you play that counts, it's what you drink. Take your pick now from the following (which, at the time of going to press, were still looking for endorsers from the rock 'n' roll industry). Lucozade, Perrier, Vimto, Iron-Bru, Robinson's Barley Water, Lilt, and Harveys Tico Sherry. Unfortunately, Pepsi's great rival, Coke, is now spoken for... something to do with a Greek male pinup sporting bleached hair and serious designer stubble.