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One Two Tightened

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"This is simply the worst manual I have ever seen. It is a masterpiece of pomposity, high pretension, leery patronisation, confusion, farcical grammar, ludicrous layout and clumsy construction. In comparison, most Japanese efforts read like a novel." Who could we be talking about? Find out yourself. (P75)

At last, the Bond guitar encounters the fingers of the punters "I picked it up in ten minutes... though it might take better players a little longer." Lewin strikes a blow for the digitally untutored. (P72)

Rock and Roll is a tough business. Taxi drivers are even tougher. "He speaks. From a loudspeaker concealed under the bonnet his voice booms 'GET OUT OF THE WAY'." Andy Duncan tours America with Difford and Tilbrook and lives to tell the truth. (P8)

"This LP's gonna be covered in Quantec which is a digital reverb with simulation of rooms stored in it. It ranges from a metre cubed which sounds on headphones like you're standing in a cupboard, up to millions of metres cubed, sort of the Taj Mahal or St Peter's." Robin Guthrie from the Cocteau Twins is animated on ambience. (P28)

Once again Colbert seeks to solve the world's problems in one blast of verbal. "If MIDI is a language then guitar synths have learnt yes and no, and keyboards are up to short sentences, but we're still a long way from decent conversation." (P48)

"You get shoved into a li'l slot after the first 10/15 years." Bo Diddley looks good on musical middle age. (P16)

And so the future of mankind as we know it stumbles into life in 1964. "Theremin-salesman Robert Moog meets musician Herbert Deutsch who interests Moog in electronic music. Moog begins building voltage controlled modules for him, completing the VCO and VCA in 1964 and the famous Moog VCF in 1965." (P46)

"This starts with our Mellotron — nothing else sounds like a Mellotron. For the intro we sent it through a tiny little speaker and put that in a wastepaper bin, and then taped a kitchen roll tube to the mic so that we just got the sound of this little speaker reverberating in the bin. It sounded a bit like it was being played in the Albert Hall, actually." Dave Gregory of XTC says how they did it. "We got our Mellotron for £250 a few years ago. I expect its had its fair share of being bucked on stage by members of King Crimson during 25 minute versions of 'Devil's Triangle'." Andy Partridge of XTC says what they did it with. (P58)

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Rockschool Club

One Two Testing - Copyright: IPC Magazines Ltd, Northern & Shell Ltd.


One Two Testing - Nov 1984

Donated & scanned by: Mike Gorman


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> Rockschool Club

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