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Shopspeak

Article from Making Music, July 1987


Yes, mate! Take your ******* hands off that
Can I help you! Have you got any money!
We're a bit busy at the moment... **** off
Eight hundred quid... Which is too ******* much for you
You want to borrow a plectrum? You want to steal a plectrum, ****?
What amp do you normally use? You do have an amp?
Been playing long, have you? You're a talentless ****
Good? Well, I had one myself... Until I broke it and had to put it back into stock
Actually, we've found that the (quite well-known brand) is more popular... Because we don't stock the (brand you just asked for)
Did you see the reviews? Can you read?
Let me run you through some of the presets... Because I don't know how to program it
They all do that... Especially after you drop them off the back of the delivery truck
It worked perfectly when I demoed it this morning... ******, it really is broken
What should happen is this... When it works properly
Anyway, you have a look in the manual... Because I haven't got a ******* clue
I think we've just sold the last one... I've never heard of it
The guy who usually does the demoes is off today... None of us understand it
What you really want is... Because we have it in stock
Leave us a deposit and we'll have it by Friday... Ha ha
Well, for another £50, you could... You are in my power: give me all your money
That is the discounted price... Ha ha ha
We could give you maybe a tenner on your old guitar... There's not much call for Fifties' Strats these days
Cash?... Are you bluffing?
Then you'll need the power supply, the case, some leads, a strap, spare strings, a couple of fuses... I'm on commission
Just get your dad to sign the credit agreement... Sonny
You want to buy the plectrum? You ****


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Synth Sense

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Twin Voice


Publisher: Making Music - Track Record Publishing Ltd, Nexus Media Ltd.

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Making Music - Jul 1987

Topic:

Humour


Feature

Previous article in this issue:

> Synth Sense

Next article in this issue:

> Twin Voice


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