These days we do our own spying in Japan. So we could tell you that Korg will soon-ish (say February) have a new synth called the 707, a replacement for the Poly 800: multi-timbral and "cheaper than the DX11" (see p45), we're assured. Or that Fostex have no mention of the X15 in their eastern brochures — it's a gonner. Or that Aria are touting their "1988 new line-up" as including five Hellion six-strings, four Warrior arch-top electrics, three Armoured Warriors, two Integras, four Percedes, though no sign of a Partridge in a Pear Tree. Aria Japan are also brochurising their APE2 Guitar and APE3 Bass (see picture above) programmable footpedal fx, which group various effects including digital delay and chorus in one chunky floor unit; Aria UK will have them soon for about £240 apiece Sayonara.

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One of the elements not brought out in either of the recent staff trips to Japan is exactly how far the Japanese have taken their digital automation techniques. The silicon chip has now made it to the toilet. Yes, in certain select nightclubs (where western pop stars may well find themselves playing or boozing) you can sit on a hi-tech toilet. No paper. Oh no, instead an arm that extends from the right hand side of the .. er.. thing, y'know with a series of controls on it. Press a button and a small tube motors out from under the back of the seat and begins spraying warm water around the nether regions. You can control the flow, the temperature and THEN switch to a hot air blast to dry (and presumably curl, attractively) the pubic items. However, be warned. Colbert, after much searching, found one of these and began prodding the buttons indiscriminately. He got the water jet working, but unfortunately was not sitting down at the time. A high pressure stream of H2O shot across the cubicle, hit the door opposite and began to race out through the gap underneath into the steaming nightspot beyond. In a sheer panic, he had to rip the plug out of the wall to stop it, before scurrying anonymously into the depths of the crowd.