"Good evening, Gentlemen. Would you mind stepping out of your magazine for a moment, so can I see your licences? Thank you. Now then Mr Paul Colbert — Editor: previous convictions, drunk, in charge of a Joni Mitchell record and going to bed in a built-up area. Mr Tony Bacon — Assistant Editor: previous convictions, failing to stop and report that he'd used the last piece of toilet paper, thereby occasioning the next person in the office convenience actual bodily harm. Mr Jerry Arron — Design: Previous convictions, conspiring, with others, to like jazz... perverted little dog-end. Right you lot, we've been following you ever since we woke up and the only reason you've given us the slip so far is because you're cleverer than us. Cleverer AND you don't have one of those funny talking broaches on your lapel which can be dead off-putting, I can tell you. But this time I've got you bang to rights, hairfaces, and there's no way you can get off. What do you mean, 'turn the page', I'd like to see you try, you must think I was born yest...