Smoke gets every where - in the studio, on stage, up popstars' trouser legs... seeking out the icky bits of news and gossip you won't find anywhere else.

Don't you wish you had problems like George Michael's? Porgy (now seemingly sundered from 'Bess' Ridgeley) is recording his new LP in LA because "Paris is too cold"...

...and talking of problems, patent leather stilletto boots are the new thing for men's dinky little feets according to the weeklies, small ads (£70 a pair); unfortunately the members of Sigue Sigue Sputnik, being slightly ahead of their time, had to cram their size 9s into women's boots - strictly interview wear only. Next month, SSS own-brand patent leather cornplasters...

Siouxsie & The Banshees tried former Lou Reed and Alice Cooper producer Bob Ezrin in pre-production: "We thought he was 'Berlin'," said Severin, "but he was Air Supply." "And Twisted Sister," concluded Carruthers. Sadly nothing was ever recorded - could have been, er, - interesting?...

...did you know Billy Cobham played drums on James Brown's 'Sex Machine'? And Brian Eno played music on the Spray'N'Fry commercial?

... large quantities of film shot for Bill Wyman’s Willie & The Poor Boys project had to be junked when it was realised Jimmy Page’s flies had been conspicuously undone throughout; and we always thought Wyman was Willie...

...wacky promotional gift #3 - the Animotion tall glass, expertly wrapped in a cardboard tube, and carefully delivered in a large number of pieces...

...the BBC are planning a pop video show to compete with C4’s Chart Show...

...did you know Miles Davis has been seen playing with Toto? ...and that Eno played the music on the (how apt) Zanussi ad?

...the charming Lux Interior and Ivy Rorschach (no relation to the man who invented the ink blot) of The Cramps have imported their tour bus from the States for their current mammoth trip; watch out for a big Dodge minibus with tinted windows, a brown furry interior, and ‘Spinal Tap’ on the video...

...Eno played music on the Opel Rally Club commercial...

...d'ya see Hank Marvin on the Wide Awake Club, clutching a pink Strat, and claiming it was the only thing Fender had ever given him? That Fender was the first (serial #0002) of the Fenders from the new American factory. It was given to Hank at a lunch in London, in the company of (pause for reverential breath) Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Steve Howe, Steve Hackett, Richard Thompson, Dave Gilmour, Stuart Adamson, Hal Lindes, with Dan Smith and Bill Schultz from Fender... the Man With A Pineapple On His Head (even if it is a wig), Tony James of SSS, confessed an ambition on Radio 4 recently: "I'd really like to present one of those great railway journey programmes"...

...what price the 80s blues revival? Watch out for latest Big Beat signing, Howlin' Wilf...

...had you heard that percussionist Dawson has turned down £650 per week for a three months Sade tour, in preference for a two week sojourn playing in India with trombonist Annie Whitehead; "Well, I didn't like her music much anyway," he murmured, poor but happy...

...had you heard that Eno played music on the Seiko ad?...

...old brush face Dave Stewart (a Eurythmic) don't 'alf collect some funny instruments. Latest is a Univox, a very, very early synthesiser that screwed onto your piano. He bought it in a small shop called "The Magic Flute" in far away hamlet Barnard Castle. Locals watched as he scoffed cakes in the nearby restaurant...

Cliff Richard currently has no recording contract...

Severin describes the Jesus & Mary Chain as "a Sunday morning with the lawnmower going outside, and the Beachboys on the radio". This is not necessarily a bad thing - but does it turn Dire Straits into a wet Monday afternoon with a pneumatic drill outside the window and The Archers on the radio?...

...wacky promotional gift #7 - the TDK Easter Egg, containing two tapes, nestling in straw, securely packed in a cardboard box stressed with a wooden frame, and still smashed to bits...

...the Banshees are thinking of releasing a B-sides compilation...

David Bowie has been working with bluesman Albert Collins on two songs for the soundtrack of his new film 'Labyrinth'...

...and finally, we name the guilty party: the support at Otis Redding's last gig before he climbed aboard his last aeroplane was a group called Grim Reaper. Is there any connection in their subsequent name change to Cheap Trick? Wasn't it Dep. Mode who said that God had a sick sense of humour?