'Ere, did you know that old wossisname is doing so-and-so with a wotchermaccallit.
We'll Smoke anything – gossip, news, lies, tittle tattle, slander, jokes... all the tacky bits we can't fit in elsewhere.
...Debugging The Jargon, part 37: 'a bug', meaning 'mistake', was born when Grace Hopper, in charge of the US Navy's early batch of relay computers, opened up an inoperative machine and found a small insect jamming one of the relays – a bug. And you thought this computer lark was all high tec... the Police are working together again, remixing their biggo hits for Christmas release... the new Fairlight is described as the Series III Turbo. It has no stripe down the side, but we have known prats to drive it... watch out for a group by the name of Mancrab. They've just recorded a song called 'Fish For Life' for the film "Karate Kid II", and it's scheduled for release on Ten Records. Ian Stanley you might not know, but he also plays in another group with the other member of Mancrab. Roland Orzabal is the other Mancrab... Alison Moyet is recording with Jimmy Iovine in Los Angeles... Joe Strummer was spotted busking outside the 'Sid & Nancy' launch party at the Cannes Film Festival. He was playing 'Guantanamera'... Queen In Newcastle, Pt. II: "We," Freddie announces from the stage, "are not going to split up" ...the Making Music payphone trilled: (I refuse to write this in a Scottish accent) "Hallo, is Tony Bacon there? It's Mick MacNeil from the group Simple Minds – I wanted to say thanks for the good write-up." Don't mention it, Mick, our pleasure... over in the USA, Ibanez/Tama drums are advertising for new musical inventions... Jimmy Page has admitted that what's left of Led Zeppelin intend to get back together every six months or so, just for fun... little-known Japanese tape recorder manufacturers, Akai, have bought Roger Linn on "an exclusive designer basis". Mr Linn, who is widely believed to have invented the drum, will be designing a completely new range of drum machines, sequencers, and the like, to sell for less than £2000. Akai will not be selling any of the old Linn equipment. Whither the Linn 9000? Wither, the Linn 9000... Elton John had a £15,000 swimming pool, complete with 15 palm trees, installed backstage at the Wham! farewell... Eric Clapton has been playing on Lionel Richie's new LP... when presented with the line-up at his recent London concert, Rodney Stewart complained "Why can't I have Quo like everyone else?"... instead he got those nice politically sound chaps, The Blow Monkeys, who announced they deplored Rod playing in South Africa. They made this announcement while playing support to him, and in front of 80,000 of his fans. They got, er, booed off. Surely not all Rod Stewart fans are pro-apartheid?... the music for the recent US Independence Day 'unveiling' of the Statue Of Liberty was all played on Prophet 2000s... a 1957 non-tremolo Strat with gold hardware, a 1958 neck, and several chips and scratches in its blond paintwork was recently sold to a collector in the USA for $4500... pity the popstar, for his lot is not an easy one: Australian chaps, INXS, flew from England to the States to record a B-side, and play their biggest ever American headline gig to 20,000 people in Milwaukee. Gig went well for the support bands, then ten minutes before INXS were due, it began to rain. It rained 2in in 20 minutes. Gig aborted. Saddened and soggy, INXS Concorde it back to Britain for the Whistle Test, and to support Queen in Newcastle. Their gear is delayed 24 hours in Chicago. All the equipment arrives at Manchester airport on the morning of the gig, is rushed through Customs, and dashes North towards the venue. They got stuck in traffic behind a fatal smash on the A1 and didn't get there in time. There wasn't even a saxophone at St. James' Park that the band could borrow. That was how INXS didn't play to 60,000 people in a week... when M'sieu Heyward, a man who knows which way up to hold his favourite musicians' magazine, first recorded on a digital system, he was unaware of what he was doing. "I thought everyone used it," he 'fessed up, "and that it was normal for it to keep breaking down at 3am"... there is a pub near Colchester called The Wooden Fender... The Wit & Wisdom Of The Press Officer, Pt. 46: according to a BBC Radio press release, Wishbone Ash are "one of the loudest of the American heavy metal bands"... one of Frankie Goes To Hollywood's private companies is called Itchy Helmet... as the Tape Levy looms ever nearer, bear in mind that the BPI is considering spending £1½m on a further TV ad campaign to encourage people to buy more music... the only act to outgross (financially, that is) Bruce Springsteen on American live dates last year was the Grateful Dead, who made $18m... would anyone notice if the BBC followed the Peacock committee report and sold off Radios One and Two?... the six most played songs in America last month were all by British bands: Genesis, Peter Gabriel, The Fixx, ELP, Gtr, and Steve Winwood... Queen In Newkie Brown, Pt. III: on the plane back from Newcastle, Status Quo's manager and soundman were heard complaining to Harvey Goldsmith about the quietness and quality of the sound while Quo were on stage, and its sudden improvement for Queen. Words like 'sabotage' hung in the air. But are Quo sure they've never played the same trick on a support band? Perhaps they haven't had to... and Nick Heyward's favourite guitarist is Andy Partridge from XTC...
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