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The sort of thing you'll turn to first: lies, gossip, tittle-tattle, rumours, humous...

Wherein extraordinary tales of the rock and roll lifestyle are recorded with minutely observed accuracy down to the final fib...

...if Descartes' theorem 'I think therefore I am' holds true, does this mean that Samantha Fox doesn't exist?... not following on from that at all, really, Andy Taylor has now officially left Duran Duran and signed to MCA as a solo artist. He did play on two of the tracks on the new Duran LP, though Nile Rodgers did most of the guitar work. Drummist was Steve Ferrone... vacuous yuppy colour supplement The Face recently featured the Casio SK1, crediting it with a sampling time of 90 seconds. Perhaps there was something wrong with our review model... Wit & Wisdom Of The Press Officer, Pt.35: who managed to spell the name of Boston's main man three different ways, in one press release? It's actually Tom Scholz, with the 'c', but no 't'... Tom Dolby's occupation, as recorded on his passport, is "inventor"... poor John Spinks from The Outfield banged his head and broke his guitar when his Marshall stack (two 4x10s) fell on him on stage in Switzerland... can Michael Jackson really have been paid $12m for advertising Coke, when (as far as we know) he doesn't even drink, snort, or bathe in the stuff?... the Stepp guitar synth T shirt is now available from Paul Smith's Covent Garden clothes emporium. Next the instrument... rumour has it that Granada are sitting on a documentary based around Charlie Gillett's excellent Sound Of The City history of rock'n'roll because they cannot afford the licensing fees for the archive film... Tina Turner was only paid $5m for her Pepsi ad... Nigel Glockler of Saxon (see September) has just taken delivery of a brand new Premier kit for use on their next tour. Lucky he's the drummer... our chums The Bible! were asked to pay £25,000 as a buy-on for the privilege of supporting Suzanne Vega on tour... rock'n'roll's second most famous curled lip, Billy Idol has just returned from a holiday in Majorca with his mum and dad... sometime in 1969, Ian Stewart telephoned a Faces rehearsal, asking if Ron Wood would be interested in joining the Rolling Stones. Ronnie Lane answered the call; 'no', he told Mr Stewart, 'he's perfectly happy.' Woody wasn't told about this for "years"... It's Raining Gear, Pt.2: in Phoenix, Arizona this month, Lionel Richie's whizzy hi-tech stage set-up, replete with motorised risers, spat a grand piano at the long-nosed one from a height of ten feet. It missed, by the way... news of a Young Producers' Stable reaches us, and could reach you if you called (Contact Details). The intention of the organisation is to help promote the talents of young producers... a tired and emotional Irish Italian journalist, by the name of Paulo Hewitt (Paul O'Hewitt?), was seen to strike one A. Kershaw at a Troublefunk gig, while demanding to know why there wasn't any black music on the Whistle Test... it seems that Rod Stewart had a whole LP rejected by WEA because 'it wasn't good enough'. So who says record companies don't care about music?... an 18th century version of the 'Hush-a-bye Baby' lullaby runs "Bee baw, babby lou"; familiar? Smoke that, Gene Vincent... Dumb Chums drawist MGE (like an OBE, but stickier) Rowson is currently filling the pages of Sunday Today with his biting political satire, aka cartoons. Such fame in the office.

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The Dumb Chums

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Making Music - Copyright: Track Record Publishing Ltd, Nexus Media Ltd.


Making Music - Nov 1986


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> The Dumb Chums

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> Cray-ing

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