We couldn't help but laarf, when some of those vile Media types came into the OTT lair, and started filming the editor of A.Nother magazine. Picture the scenario. Firstly out came those appalling Filofax objects, then the fat balding 'director' who glowed like a beetroot started his schpiel. Words like 'Yah', and 'lets take that' appeared as if by magic. What a load of old nadgers these media types are. If in doubt, shoot to kill whenever confronted by some trendy git wearing wide suits and Trevor 'god' Horn bins...

Talking of the man with the double chin and glasses, did you know that the drums on Grace Jones Slave To The Rhythm were in fact not drums. Well, they started out as drums but were reconstructed (make that sampled) using a Commodore 64, actually it was the Synclavier and a most impressive piece of drum programming it is too. Why can't he use a Drumatix like everybody else?...

More blabber? O.K. how about the thought of Pete 'pride' Shelley making mad passionate squirming noises with America's very own 'give me a wetsuit' Phranc, it doesn't does it...

No doubt all the Wham! fans will be mourning their demise, what gives us hope is the prospect of joining a well dodgy pap band, being the now obligatory 'luggage' member, making complete prats of ourselves, and walk away with a cool couple of million, we talk of course about 'Rambo' Ridgeley, stand up and collect your 'OTT luggage of the year award'...

How on earth have Genesis got the nerve to actually admit that they composed (we use the term 'thrown together') their current monstrosity, I mean, have you seen them on T.O.T.Paps, stand up and collect the OTT wallies of a lifetime' award...

What a shame England lost the game due to some hairy Argie flapping his hands about...

Tacky album cover of 86 must go to Dio. those of the spandex guitars and Marshall Stack trousers, one can instinctively tell that it's a shittkicking barnshagging C&W album of the highest order, check the titles, Time To Burn, Rock'N'Roll Children, We Laid Eggs Last Night etc..etc..

What truth in the rumour that mega wallies A&M have just payed 8 million quideroonies for the completely unknown Thrashing Doves, no we can't believe it either, but then they did sign the Welsh porkies, sometimes known as The Alarm...

Neal X of Siggy Siggy Sputnik was spotted t'other evening in a good old chippie in Shepherds Bush, coincidentally, the new girl in Bucks Fizz also just happens to live in the very same Shepherds Bush, are the two facts related in any way? We wonder if this is why the album by the boys with the big ideas is held up, they couldn't have run out of riffs to nick could they ?...

We eagerly await the first single from the 'just about to be signed to EMI' band, Transvision Vamp, produced by Duncan 'manic' Bridgeman and early demos bootlegged by the OTT undercover surveillance team show that they pee all over the wimpoid efforts of Giorgio Moroder's production with SSS. Libel. Libel and lies. All the Bonnie Tyler fans, her of the smarmy Simmons tom-tom rolls and horrible records, may laugh when they hear that Peter Oxendale (live keyboards for Frankie Goes To Hollywell) did a T.V. promotion tour not so long ago for the lady, that lasted for about two years, and the poor chap, who is a classically trained musician, mimed for the whole tour, that's right, he was giving it loads on his PPG et al, and didn't play a note after learning her repertoire, he must have been payed well.