I opened the box, a three coloured box, constructed of cardboard,... it had a flimsy yet solid feel to it. I couldn't be sure. Inside, lay the beast, the monster in question. It looked good although it didn't smell much. It looked firm yet functional, the beast was also three coloured. What could this mean? What's this! It has two plastic plates to tread on instead of one. What is this indeed. Serious shit... you can tell after a while you know... Seven Knobs on it, go on, count em, seven knobs and Glory Be, theres three holes in it. What do they do?

I looked not daring to take IT out of THE box. (Time passed) After a while, I started to read the top. The words were mostly in blue, a lightish sort of blue, on a grey sort of background. Good strong up to date words, none of your Luddite mentality here thank you very much. It read digital, yeah, digital, thats what caught my eye.

I went to the little room, and came back, I couldn't face it straight away. Picking up as much Dutch courage as I could find, I carried IT into the little room. The task ahead was truly awesome. Find three, not two, three, long sinuous (generally black) straight, or sometimes curly, leads. I won, history repeats itself. IT was lifted carefully from it's box, a three coloured box. The axe was lifted, the pick was found, the resting place arranged comfortably and power applied to the ace little Birdie. IT was plugged in and being full of Dutch courage I inserted leads into all three (count them) holes.

IT felt big, the Birdie was loud, I felt like a Californian session musician, I played with the Knobs, I played with the pick and also the axe, do I have a pickaxe-Birdie-IT-situation? Grasping again, the axe, with the pick in hand, power applied (but thats obvious isn't it) plugged into one of the three holes the ceremony began. AS planned.

Where I thought, is the smarmy, currently fashionable, heard on most smarmy records like for example MR MR, setting? Further examination of THE three coloured box produced more words of wisdom. It's typical isn't it! "Standard chorus" to quote if I may. I mean, who really and truly, I'll be honest with you, tell you no porkie-pies, wants to sound standard? Crime of the century aside, the words of wisdom from the box about IT, were good enough for Rock & Roll and Jet Flanging.

Axe still in hand, pick in other, Dutch coooorage in t'other I chopped with the pick against the axe which transmitted whatever it transmits down the curly, sinous (generally black but not always) lead, through the other two leads that were connected to IT, into the Birdie (make that a Birdie and a Peavey) and... Yeah, it sounded O.K. really. But these days I find it really hard to comment on the sound of a stereo digital chorus/flanger. Really and truly, you've heard one, You've heard them...

Anyway, before I digress, as they go, IT was really awright. Yeah, tell you no porkie-pies, IT was good, nice and clean, rich yet smooth, subtle yet violent enough when you really give it some welly, and I wouldn't spit on it if a nice man gave me one. What more can I say?

(Did I tell you that it's stereo, well you guessed that anyway, and that you can switch between chorus or flanging settings with one of the two plastic plates to tread on? let me know if I didn't.)