The List Department prides itself on its efficiency and, well, togetherness, really. It was with reluctance, then, that the team sped into action as the editor handed over a piece of paper with "neil" written on it.

"Oh, hi," said the pale-faced hairy thing which opened the door. "Look, I'm a bit out of it, you know? Me and Dr Spliff were at the Hippydrome last night and, er, you know..." The subject dozed off on the spot.

We shook him hard and shouted through the hair: "If you were about to go on tour and had to choose just eight tracks for your Walkman, what would they be and why?" Glazed eyes flickered, "Wha's a Walkman, man?"

Time passed. We averaged one track every four days. A month came and went in no time at all, and still only seven tracks. So, we know this is really heavy, but it's the best we could get. OK?

Hurdy Gurdy Man

Doctor Strangely Strange

"The only version."

People Are Strange

The Doors

"Yeah, don't I know it."

Teddy Bears' Picnic

Henry Hall

"Not by the Doors."

Thanks For The Pepperoni

George Harrison

"Yeah, heavy."

Yeah Heavy, And A Bottle Of Bread

Bob Dylan

"Yeah, heavy."

We Love You

Rolling Stones

"The only good thing they ever did."

Hole In My Shoe

Traffic

"Best cover version of my hit."

10 instruments Neil should learn to play

Mellotron
Coral Electric Sitar
Recorder
Jaw's Harp
Crumhorn
Anything being sold off by PFM
Cry Baby Wah-Wah and Fuzz Box
Oil Wheel projector
Flared horns (they're coming back, man...)
Finger Bells

10 suppers Neil should cook

Lentil fondue
Brown rice and parmeeesian cheese
Crunched Nuts Delight
Lentil thermidor epervette with a mornay sauce served in a provencal manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with a truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top, with spam
Soya dip
Spliff cake
Peyote pie
Lentil flavoured crisps (because I don't abuse my body and the world I live in)
Alfalfa cutlet (off the bone)
Bullock kebab attractively served on a bed of shrimps