King Kurt cover the stage, the audience, the equipment and themselves in flour, water, paint, dye and less mentionable substances. The audience, the stage and the band can look after themselves. P. Eastbury of Dalston, London E.8, wondered how the guitars managed to survive. We took Kurts John and Paul and bass player Robert aside while they were rehearsing at Nomis studios. With all fluids safely out of reach, we put the question.

What's the average life of guitar in the band?

John Kurt: "So far about two and a half years. I had a Firebird that only lasted nine months but that was through someone falling on it and breaking the neck."

What do they have to cope with?

John: "We throw around flour and water which isn't so bad. If you get a high stage and a big one, and if the audience is searched before it comes in, it's all right. If you've got a 12in stage and the promoter knows sod all about what's going to happen, and people turn up with buckets of gunk, then you get in a bit of a state.

"Robert's good, he knows all about it. He's always taking his pickups out and cleaning them, they get flour inside, all sorts of shit. A normal band wouldn't have those sort of problems, but they'd still find themselves playing in some little club where it's hot and sweaty. The condensation seems to make semi-acoustics cut out — anything with f holes."

Paul Kurt: "A lot of other people would be horrified at what happens to our instruments."

John: "Our tour manager always says they'd throw a fit. We've got a 335 each, now, and they're really reliable; they've got the advantages of a semi and a solid because of that block of wood down the middle. They don't cut out and they don't have as much awkward feedback."

What do you use to clean them afterwards?

John: "Spit. Spit is the best, then furniture polish, but not too much wax or it leaves a residue. People go around buying really expensive guitar polishes but it's not worth it.

"I'm getting a guitar done with acrylic lacquer which they put on cars. Even if you drop acid from a battery onto it, it just rolls off. It'll be metallic pink when it's finished... probably with wing mirrors.

"The first guitar I had was a Guild T100D. It looked like this" (pointing to the present, well polished Kurt model) "but was a different colour with different pickups. A jazz guitar... well, it was... it's black gloss now, on everything, somewhere in Sweden. It got covered in black paint, absolutely black, a bit impossible to play."

Can you scratch it off?

Paul: "Paint, no, you're stuck with it."

John: "We've had indelible dye all over things."

Paul: "Oh, that's not so bad."

John: "It is when you're trying to get it off a white Falcon."

Paul: "Oh, yeah."

What about amps!

Robert Kurt: "I had one slight accident when the speaker cloth caught fire."

The audience?

Robert: "No, a stage bomb went off too close."

John: "These two amps" (Marshall and Vox combos, unidentifiable below paint splatters) "have lasted for years."

Do you cover them up?

Paul: "Does it LOOK like it?"

Robert: "We used to, for a while, but you get used to it. There's not a lot of point. If you put a cover on, the water stays on the covering and drips inside. I dont think transistor amps last as long as valve ones do. My Peavey didn't last very long. The circuit board kept oxidising from the sweaty atmosphere."

What precautions do you take about electric shocks?

Paul: "Make sure the amp's earthed."

What about using circuit breakers?

John: "I've heard of them, but they don't seem worthwhile."

Ever had any shocks?

John: "Yeah."

Paul: "It's usually through the PA. I had one once through the microphone. It was because my amp was plugged into a dodgy plug board that the PA people had rigged up... they always tell you it's 'static'. The PA bloke came up and said, 'Stop complaining, it's nothing' — grabbed hold of my guitar and "TSZZZZZ"... 'oh... let's plug you into something else, then.' "

What else can you do?

Paul: "Make sure your insurance is up to date."

What's it like trying to play a guitar during one of your gigs?

John: "Difficult if there's mud or jelly over the fretboard. You have a towel handy to wipe the string clean, or wipe your eyes so you can see what's going on. If there's a pause in the song you can wipe it off quickly, but otherwise instead of going 'drrinng' it goes 'donk'. We had our real baptism of fire at the 101 Club and since then, whatever people throw at us, it can't be as bad again. The stage was about 15in, and there were as many people from the audience on it as the band. They were standing right in front of us throwing rotten fruit... no sport in that, none at all."