Smoke gets every where, seeking out the icky bits of news and gossip you won't find anywhere else.

Can bluesmen cook the greens? Former Blues Band guitarist Dave Kelly has opened a vegetarian restaurant in Wimbledon, by the name of Cordon Vert...

Simon & Robin from The Cocteau Twins have been recording with trumpetist and Eno collaborator Harold Budd. Liz is recording vocals at present, and release is scheduled for July...

...classified ad seen recently: 'Used Mark King: £675'. We say a bargain for a man whose hands are insured for £1m...

Barney from New Order says he's more inspired at night: "During the day there's lots of people all over England, sat up, awake. And I think you pick up their brainwaves. When they go to sleep at night, you can think more clearly, as there's less interference. It's like the reverse of radio stations."

...our spy at a recent A-Ha audition reports that "serious musician" Pal spent his time skateboarding (inexpertly) around the rehearsal room...

Gibson, who recently changed hands for the third time in their history, have been 'restructuring'. Apart from threatening new models in the summer, and more emphasis on 'Epiphone By Gibson' (hello, Fender Squier), could this explain why the telephonist didn't know who Les Paul was when we telephoned their Nashville factory?

...former Mr Van Halen, David Lee Roth has named his new band: guitarist Steve Vai (heard on the fabbo PIL album), incredibly flashy bass virtuoso Billy Sheehan, and drummer Gregg Bissonette (who's probably pretty OK too)...

...here come Nu-Line ((Contact Details)), who offer a contact service for all those lonely musicians with no-one else to play with. Next month, someone to come round and play your synth for you...

...spooky US weirdos The Residents are set to tour the UK in September...

...ever wondered how TV appearances affect record sales? Joni Mitchell's last record sold 25,000 copies in the month or so between its release and the screening of her Whistle Test Special. It subsequently sold the same amount again in the following week. Top Of The Pops, with 10.5m viewers, gives an average 45 per cent increase in record sales to any featured record, while the new C4 Chart Show, with 1.2m audience figures currently gives a 10 per cent boost...

...imagine Nik Kershaw & Krew rehearsing, messing around over a spoof of 'Save The Whale'. God is listening. Band breaks for refreshment. Heavens open for sudden downpour. Rehearsal studio roof mysteriously also opens. Splish splash on large quantities of 'spensive equipment. God 'I Made It So I'll Bloody Well Do What I Like With It' sniggers...