BRACE YOURSELF. Just what is this Musicians' Union all about? Is it worth buying secondhand? Were there any good books published this year? All these questions are answered in this month's Tactics department, where One Two helps you improve your stance and pack a bigger punch.

Coming up we have OVERTONES, an interview with the MU's top man John Morton (P65) - BOOKS 85, a run-down of the best reads for the musician (P68) - PLAYBACK your fine demos given to the reviewer's ear (P69) - (WORST STAGE EXPERIENCES, as big stars relate their most frightening live stories (P70) - SECONDHAND PRICES, an analysis of the advantages of buying un-new gear (P72) - (THE COCTEAU TWINS give some advice on choosing studio premises (P74).

And talking of on-stage experiences, how do you spot a dodgy gig? Try these:

• "House PA" turns out to be two 1950s speaker columns
• A Promised "stage" turns out to be the floor between the juke box and the bar
• Broken glass on the pavement outside
• Boarded-up windows
• Paint peeling off the ceiling, and other damp giveaways
• Very cheap secondhand guitar shop next door
• Round-pin mains plug sockets
• Strip lights
• Strippers
• Being asked, "Do you do requests?"
• Individual lights on tables
• Place not open on time
• Bleedin' great dogs behind the bar
• Squaddies at bar when pub opens
• Posters with pix of C&W "stars" in all windows
• Video juke box
• "Don't worry, we'll sort the money out later... "
• Noise-level cut-out device
• "No soundchecks here, mate."
• Landlord not wearing One Two Testing jumper
• Landlord not wearing anything