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Rehearsal Speak

Say what you mean...


What you really mean when you say what you think you mean

Hello... Where the **** have you been??
Well, we were supposed to start at 7.30... Why the **** are you late, you ********? This is costing us money, and you can be ****** sure that every penny's coming out of your share next time we gig.
The rest of us are ready, actually... And if it takes you more than eight seconds to set up your gear, I'll kick your ****
Shall we try that again? You ****ed it up, you incompetent ********
Once more? Are you normally this bad, or is it your ****ing birthday?
A bit faster this time... Wake up, you dozy ****face.
Mmmm, yeah... could be tighter... If the rhythm section don t pull their fingers out of their collective ****s, they've had it.
It's still a bit sloppy... Right, where's that TR505?
The drumming's a bit busy... If you can't hit the things in time, don t hit them at all, you stupid --**.
I think there should be a guitar break there... This is my band, and if I say 'solo', I mean ******
Now, about the vocals... I don't like your ****ing face.
Mmm, the rhythm guitar sound isn't quite right You're too loud.
Yeah, but I think the bass could be a bit simpler there... I'm the lead guitarist.
Maybe the rhythm section should practise their part on their own... The only way I can possibly listen to that dreadful mess is with three pints of Abbot in my ears.
Shall we try another number? I ****ing retire, I do.
I'm just going for a pee... And I expect all the ****ing gear to be packed up by the time I come back.
No, the count is two fours. Not five and a half, ****-brain.
Let's have a think about the stage show... And those paper bags you ****s should have over your heads.
Maybe I should do the between-song links? Every time you **** your brain falls onto your shoes.
I was experimenting ... I ****ed up, but I'm not going to apologise.
It'll be all right on the night... Oh ****


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Famous Neighbours

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Under Covers


Making Music - Copyright: Track Record Publishing Ltd, Nexus Media Ltd.

 

Making Music - Feb 1987

Topic:

Humour


Feature

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> Famous Neighbours

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> Under Covers


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