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Rehearsal Speak | |
Say what you mean...
What you really mean when you say what you think you mean
| Hello... | Where the **** have you been?? |
| Well, we were supposed to start at 7.30... | Why the **** are you late, you ********? This is costing us money, and you can be ****** sure that every penny's coming out of your share next time we gig. |
| The rest of us are ready, actually... | And if it takes you more than eight seconds to set up your gear, I'll kick your **** |
| Shall we try that again? | You ****ed it up, you incompetent ******** |
| Once more? | Are you normally this bad, or is it your ****ing birthday? |
| A bit faster this time... | Wake up, you dozy ****face. |
| Mmmm, yeah... could be tighter... | If the rhythm section don t pull their fingers out of their collective ****s, they've had it. |
| It's still a bit sloppy... | Right, where's that TR505? |
| The drumming's a bit busy... | If you can't hit the things in time, don t hit them at all, you stupid --**. |
| I think there should be a guitar break there... | This is my band, and if I say 'solo', I mean ****** |
| Now, about the vocals... | I don't like your ****ing face. |
| Mmm, the rhythm guitar sound isn't quite right | You're too loud. |
| Yeah, but I think the bass could be a bit simpler there... | I'm the lead guitarist. |
| Maybe the rhythm section should practise their part on their own... | The only way I can possibly listen to that dreadful mess is with three pints of Abbot in my ears. |
| Shall we try another number? | I ****ing retire, I do. |
| I'm just going for a pee... | And I expect all the ****ing gear to be packed up by the time I come back. |
| No, the count is two fours. | Not five and a half, ****-brain. |
| Let's have a think about the stage show... | And those paper bags you ****s should have over your heads. |
| Maybe I should do the between-song links? | Every time you **** your brain falls onto your shoes. |
| I was experimenting ... | I ****ed up, but I'm not going to apologise. |
| It'll be all right on the night... | Oh **** |
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Humour
Making Music - Copyright: Track Record Publishing Ltd, Nexus Media Ltd.
Making Music - Feb 1987
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