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Shopspeak | |
Article from Making Music, July 1987 | |
| Yes, mate! | Take your ******* hands off that |
| Can I help you! | Have you got any money! |
| We're a bit busy at the moment... | **** off |
| Eight hundred quid... | Which is too ******* much for you |
| You want to borrow a plectrum? | You want to steal a plectrum, ****? |
| What amp do you normally use? | You do have an amp? |
| Been playing long, have you? | You're a talentless **** |
| Good? Well, I had one myself... | Until I broke it and had to put it back into stock |
| Actually, we've found that the (quite well-known brand) is more popular... | Because we don't stock the (brand you just asked for) |
| Did you see the reviews? | Can you read? |
| Let me run you through some of the presets... | Because I don't know how to program it |
| They all do that... | Especially after you drop them off the back of the delivery truck |
| It worked perfectly when I demoed it this morning... | ******, it really is broken |
| What should happen is this... | When it works properly |
| Anyway, you have a look in the manual... | Because I haven't got a ******* clue |
| I think we've just sold the last one... | I've never heard of it |
| The guy who usually does the demoes is off today... | None of us understand it |
| What you really want is... | Because we have it in stock |
| Leave us a deposit and we'll have it by Friday... | Ha ha |
| Well, for another £50, you could... | You are in my power: give me all your money |
| That is the discounted price... | Ha ha ha |
| We could give you maybe a tenner on your old guitar... | There's not much call for Fifties' Strats these days |
| Cash?... | Are you bluffing? |
| Then you'll need the power supply, the case, some leads, a strap, spare strings, a couple of fuses... | I'm on commission |
| Just get your dad to sign the credit agreement... | Sonny |
| You want to buy the plectrum? | You **** |
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Humour
Publisher: Making Music - Track Record Publishing Ltd, Nexus Media Ltd.
The current copyright owner/s of this content may differ from the originally published copyright notice.
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Making Music - Jul 1987
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