Ethnic? We sure as hell are! Multi-racial? You're not joking! Cosmopolitan? We never miss a single issue!

And what's all this leading to my little marsupial wolf? Well, let me take you to the Bass Clef where for some time now assorted ethnic musicians from all over this divided planet have been thumpin' and honkin' out a huge variety of ethnic musics for punters of that persuasion. Wave studios, who are connected by leylines and vibes and the fact that they're next door have produced Afro Latino a live album featuring some 75 artists including a representative of every continent and more ethnic minorities than the average Bernard Manning diatribe. Wave have otherwise been employed by demon trumpeter Hugh Masekela, premier Afro Irish bass player Phil Lynott and Glen Matlock, who's possibly the least ethnic person alive...

Addis Ababa studios are also in the business of producing high quality, low budget masters for bands of an ethnic or skint disposition. Rough Trade recently put in Thomas Mapfumo and the Blacks Unlimited, a Zimbabwian collective produced by Jimmy Lewis. Hardcore Reggae producer Trevor Bow also appeared for a couple of days to work with Dennis Brown, Sly Dunbar and Robbie Shakespeare, and Maxi Priest demoed for himself. A sizable percentage of Animal Nightlife also took to Addis Ababa to help Rush Winters metamorphose from backing singer into a proper grown-up lead singer...

The glorious people's republic of Shepherds Bush has been stormed by mega-mouthed socialist Jazz-Acoustic combo, the Redskins. The capitalist property owning Townhouse bosses have been strapped to their bourgeois chairs and subjected to the crazed red Rock group's peculiar brand of Rhythm 'n' Blues. Producers are the men who put the finishing touches to the Untouchables LP, Pat Foey and Chris Silurgi. Interestingly enough after producing the last Redskins single, Nick Lowe, exhausted by the constant Marxist-Leninist rhetoric, vowed never to produce anyone ever again. But what is this we hear about the production credit on the next Men They Couldn't Hang single being for one Nick Lowe? Well now you're asking, aren't you?

Whilst on the subject of the Power Plant (for it is there that The Men Who Weren't Well Hung are recording) why not investigate the mystery of the missing Sade album. Is it finished? Well, yes, no and ah ha! that would be telling.

Other toilers at the Plant have been grossly underrated Liverpudlians, Two People who've been working on a follow up to their last sadly underrated single with the pitifully underrated Bob Andrews and Colin Fairley. Naturally they were given reduced rates. Stephen 'Stephen' Duffy is producing his own LP with the assistance of Mike Pela. Owen Paul did the same with a single. Vince Clarke's latest project Erasure materialised to begin work on their debut album with Vince Clarke producing. Jerry Damners has started work with the Friday Club. What that will sound like is anybody's guess. Curiosity Killed The Cat have been taken to task by author of School Love and all round great guy, Barry Blue...

Wailings and screamings have been emanating from The Manor and cutting deep into the Oxfordshire countryside. Could this be anything to do with Richard Branson's boat sinking? Could it be at all related to Culture Club sinking? No, it is a UFO album in the making. Strangely the album is being engineered by JJ Jeczalik (pronounced Sm-i-th) and produced even more strangely by the Style Council's Mick Talbot... no, sorry it's a bad line — that should be Nick Tauber.

The Mighty Manor Mobile has once again been hoisted onto the backs of 40 YTS workers and hauled to London whereupon it recorded Dead Or Alive at the Hammersmith Odeon, Jason and the Scorchers at the Electric Ballroom, Joe Cocker at the Royal Albert Hall and Miles Davis at the Royal Festival Hall. Could all these royal visits mean that the Mobile is after a knighthood? Sir Mobile, there's a thought...

For a man who supposedly had his day many moons ago, Tony Visconti is still in immense demand as a producer and has withstood the ravages of trends and transient fashions admirably. He also has a very nice haircut. His latest endeavour at Good Earth has been with Elaine Paige who is in the throes of creating another solo album. Other recent pieces of resistance have included the excellent Adam Ant album, the latest Big Sound Authority single and the Blow Monkeys LP. Would it spoil it all if you found out that he is at present producing The Moody Blues?

Back at the Townhouse, brother of famous Heavy Metal producer Ludwig Van Beet, Hein Hoven, has taken latest London hopefuls Then Jericho to the wall. The result of this clash of trousers will be in seven and 12" format in all good plattergescheftes probably before you realise.

A question that keeps us studio types occupied on sleepless nights is what happens to Konk when the Kinks aren't in the country? Well Bob Henrit's office drum stool is presently bare so we can safely assume that the Kinks are on tour. So just who is at Konk? Vitamin Z, Wall Of Voodoo and a new SSL desk just itching to be installed, that's who. Another little known fact is D&A's (Dave and Annie Eurythmic to you, Gringo) relationship with Konk. It seems that they do a lot of their 'bits and pieces' there. Never has such trivia been so fascinating.

Another Studio Dairy complete and destined for the British Library. Was it good for you?